How I Overcame Burnout as a Homeschooling Mother

I am a homeschooling mother of four. I recently experienced burnout and went on a journey of healing and solutions to thrive in homeschooling and in life. I want to help other mothers by sharing how I overcame burnout as a mother if you are on the brink of burnout. I hope this post is helpful for you.

The Backstory of my Burnout

About two months ago, I had a huge mental break down. I won’t go into details, but I almost landed in the hospital for it.

We are in our second year of homeschooling, with my first daughter in year two, my second daughter in kindergarten, and I have a two year old and 8 month old.

While navigating homeschooling two kids, looking after two younger very dependent kids, my parents moving overseas just weeks after I had my fourth baby and being susceptible to postpartum depression, the burnout was sadly inevitable.

I’m sure if you are reading this post, that your circumstances might be a little different, but you are feeling like you could explode any day if you don’t make any changes.

I wish I had seen the signs of my burnout a lot sooner than I did. This is why I am writing this post; to encourage mothers to start making changes now before it is too late.

I am going to share what that looked like practically for me below, but I want you to know, there will be a lot of undoing before things get better.

That is what happened with me.

I decided that I needed a reset. So, instead of being admitted into a hospital, my husband and I decided to go away for a week; half of the week with just us and our baby and the other half, with the rest of our kids.

I needed to get away from all the responsibilities of my life that I felt were choking me and have a reset. Somewhere near the beach. Somewhere slightly remote.

We packed our bags and headed down the south coast of New South Wales. It definitely was not all rainbows and roses. I was still in recovery mode from burning out and that had repercussions on both my body and my mind. However, it was exactly what I needed at the time.

Now, I know not everyone has the luxury to just get away.

My husband literally had to use some of his long service leave to go away, but getting away for even just a couple of nights would be ideal, if you think you are on the brink of burnout.

I did not just go away just for a reset. I went away so that my husband and I could sit down and strategize for when we get back home. I could not go back home without making some dramatic changes in our lives.

Like I mentioned, your circumstances may look different. However, I believe that the steps that I followed and strategies that I used changed my life for the better.

I am no longer living in a state of burnout, but with joy and peace. I’m not done healing yet and am still working through things. But on a practical level, life is more simple and freeing than it was.

Let me share with you how it can be simple and freeing for you too.

What I Will Cover In This Post

• Dealing with the root of the burnout
• Making changes to your schedule
• Leaving room for margin
• Being smarter with your time

Dealing With The Root Of The Burnout

Firstly, I had to deal with the root of my burnout.

If you are anything like me, you are an overachiever, dreamer, get it all done kind of woman. I am someone who aspires to be a ‘perfect’ person, wanting to please everyone, wanting to have everything organised, wanting to raise kind, clever kids, wanting to do grand things.

But all at the detriment of myself (clearly) and while it is a noble aspiration, it is just not realistic to do it all and be it all.

The root of my burnout was having unrealistic expectations of myself and others. I kept going without much time to reflect about the state of my sanity and state of my home.

I am someone who thrives on routine, and yet, with my fourth baby’s terrible sleep habits, routine for all of us mostly went out the window. This caused unpredictability and disarray in our home.

My girls did not know when they were beginning their school work for the day, because we did not have systems in place for predictability and routine.

I know not every mother likes routine and is more fluid with her day to day schedule, but I would say if you are a homeschooling family, a routine (even if it is loose) is a good thing to have for everyone (but especially the mama).

Because of this, our rhythms were out of whack and my expectations of what I had set out to accomplish were rarely ever met. This led me to feel like a terrible mother and depleted person.

So, getting to the root cause of your burnout is absolutely essential if you want to know how to make any changes.

Write it all out so you can reflect and identify what it is exactly (you might have to peel back a few layers before you get to the heart of it).

Making Changes To Your Schedule

After I had found the root cause of my burnout, my husband and I sat down to look at my schedule and make some changes.

This started with actually creating a routine in the first place (not just day to day, but for the entire week, so I was able to get house work and other things done instead of over-committing to too many outings).

Have these changes written down so you know to look at it (I prefer seeing it on paper rather than on my phone).

I made sure to begin our homeschool work and end it at certain times (8.30-10.30am), preparing lunch, have the girls help with doing a tidy up after lunch, quiet time/nap time for all of us and then housework/dinner prep later in the afternoon.

Having a schedule that we all followed seemed too rigid at first. I think we all were a little uncomfortable with having a timer on for different things, but it needed to be in order for us to make this our new normal.

Side note: we are only about a month into this routine and the girls still reminders (they are only 7 and 5 though, so I guess that is normal!).

I encourage you to look at your schedule.

Write down all of your responsibilities (from the finest detail like brushing your teeth) and then circle the ones you can delegate to your husband/children of appropriate age.

Then, with your husband/close friend, write up a schedule that will work. Trial it for one week and make changes as you go.

The delegating responsibilities is truly a game changer. I did not realise how much as I was doing on my own until I looked at all of my responsibilities.

Leaving Room For Margin

This is ultimately what it came down to.

I rarely made room for margin.

This means, while I did not have a set routine in place, I would work, work, work all day (on the housework, tending to the kids, on my blog) and leave no room for rest or leisure.

Not only that, but I did not leave much room for play (especially with my kids). One of the main reasons we homeschool is for the family time. I was not making this as much of a priority as it should be.

As mothers, it is so important to find time to fill our cups. Whether it be through catching up with a friend, reading a book, painting or colouring or doing macrame.

I actually needed to schedule in quiet time for myself so that I would not do anything else but that in the set time I had written it down for.

It has been a game changer.

When my boys are napping and my girls are having quiet time, I don’t do ANY house work or work. I sit down and read or have a nap at this stage.

Sometimes when my baby wakes early from his nap, I will go outside, give him something to play with and read.

Leaving room for margin is essential for our thriving as mothers. We need it to pour out again. I see it as a coffee refill moment. Because we sure do need that extra dose of energy for an afternoon with littles!

Being Smarter With Your Time

At the end of the day, being smarter with my time was where I missed the mark.

I was investing a lot of time in things that I could have saved time on.

For example, I used to have set times in the day where I would tidy up the house. I would put a timer on for 20 minutes and the whole house would be (mostly) tidy.

I stopped doing that for a while and just tidied up after my kids all day long. I felt exhausted by the end of the day and the house was just as messy as it was to begin with!

We now have set times in the day where we tidy. After lunch and just before dinner. Game changer (I know there are mums probably rolling their eyes at me thinking ‘duh’, of course you do it that way! Ha!).

Another thing to save time is I get my girls to do set chores throughout the day. One is responsible for unpacking the dishwasher. The other is responsible for making the beds.

I assign one to tidying the living room. I assign the other to tidying the dining area. And my two year old just helps wherever he can (he mostly makes more of a mess though!).

I don’t overcommit to too many outings these days. I used to say yes to almost every catch up and play date, but we have more home days than outing days, simply because I can’t get everything done that I need to and in this season of life, that is important.

We have two days during the week that are our outing days; one for homeschool co-op, and the other for catching up with another family. This is more than enough!

I feel like when you have little kids, we can be hard on ourselves to say yes to everything even when it does not feel right to. May I give you permission that it is okay to say no.

Your family is your most important thing and for the sake of your sanity, it is okay to say no to outings and playdates.

Think of areas that you are spending far too much time on. Maybe it is the housework, maybe even the school work.

When I start to feel anxious during our homeschool time, especially when the baby needs a nap and the toddler wants another snack for the 11th time, I call it quits or pause.

I used to just keep going. Now, I pause, take some deep breaths and ask myself, ‘what is the next right thing for all of us now?’.

Most of the time, it is simply pausing what we are doing or just saying, ‘actually, I think that’s enough for today.’ and tending to the most important thing, even if inside you don’t think it is.

I hope this has helped you, mama! I’d love to know in the comments if anything resonated with you and what you are going to do to reverse burnout in your life below!