Three Mistakes Mothers Make That Lead To Burn Out
Mothers are such an integral part of their family. The role of a mother is huge in this day and age, with little to no support. Let me share with you three mistakes mothers make that lead to burn out and I hope if this is you, that you can make changes starting today.
Let me share with you briefly why this topic is dear to my heart.
In the middle of 2025, 7 months after I had my fourth baby and 6 months after my parents packed their lives up to move overseas, I had a huge mental break down. The kind that leaves you on the shower floor with no motivation or energy to get up.
I had been running on empty for months, homeschooling, running a business, hosting a podcast, attending all the homeschool co-op activities and extra-curricular activities with little external support.
I didn’t see the signs of burn out soon enough before it came crashing down like an avalanche.
My young, helpless children had to watch their mother pick up the pieces of her brokenness, piece by piece, and my husband had to take time off work to help me.
The following three months were made up of counselling appointments, perinatal mental health clinic visits, family helping to carry the load that I couldn’t and taking life a whole lot slower.
I never want to get to that breaking point again, and I feel led by the Lord to share strategies to help other mothers see the signs before it is too late.
If you want to read the full story and how you can find the root of your burn out with my simple gameplan, click here.
Why are so many mothers overwhelmed?
Many mothers I meet these days are stressed, leave little to no margin for themselves and bear too many responsibilities for their own wellbeing.
This is why burnout happens for so many of us.
We don’t live the way our ancestors did, with a village of support, mothers and grandmothers to help with the load, and friends who live right next door.
And then there is social media; a constant unwelcome reminder that we aren’t doing enough, that our house isn’t tidy enough and that our meals aren’t as extravagant or healthy as other mothers’ meals are.
We put too much pressure on ourselves. We forget that we have limits and needs that we push to the side and leave to starve until we feel empty and maxed out.
No wonder we are constantly overwhelmed.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can start making simple changes that help us feel recharged and at peace.
Three Mistakes Mothers Make That Lead to Burn Out
Let me share with you three things it boils down to when it comes to mothers and burn out.
I’ve been there, and I know even when I let things slip some days, I am already on the brink of overwhelm. So staying on top of these things each new day is key.
But, please remember this: we are not perfect. We won’t always get it right. That’s where we ask for God’s forgiveness and remember that we are given God’s grace to help us move forward without shame or guilt.
Three mistakes that mothers make that lead to burn out:
- You don’t live by systems: I don’t mean strict, rigid systems with no flexibility. I mean little to no organisation across each category of your life whatsoever.
Systems keep things in order. They are anchor points that we hook our responsibilities onto every day.
I like the word ‘rhythm’ better than ‘system’, but system seems to be more commonly understood.
I have a system for housework, for homeschooling, for my business and for my family.
It is flexible and changes depending on the season of the week, but it keeps me from feeling overwhelmed and helps me to stay on top of life before life gets on top of me.
You might want to start with creating a system for house work first: example – a load of laundry a day (washed, dried, folded away), a quick vacuum clean before dinner times every other day and a deep clean of one room of the home each day – that’s a system. It’s flexible, it has room to change and it’s manageable.
2. You have too many distractions: it’s most often the phone, or another digital device, that distracts me from doing the most important work. So, my advice is to put your phone on silent, leave it in another room, set a timer for 2-3 hours and don’t pick it up until the timer goes off.
Even if you are on your phone for 5 minutes at a time, the time accumulates throughout the day – trust me.
Put parameters around device usage, especially if it becomes a distraction for you.
The days where I have used my phone more than I should, I feel disheveled and overwhelmed. Once I put parameters in place and stick to them, I feel more free and focused on what I really need to do.
3. You don’t take care of your basic needs: neglecting our own needs and care is the first thing to go when we feel overwhelmed.
If you are anything like me and you feel overwhelmed, you panic clean.
I need my home to feel peaceful, so I clean and clean until the kids make a mess 5 minutes later and the wave of overwhelm comes over me again.
Instead of cleaning, I actually need to do what is counterintuitive for me and take care of myself first.
When we eat well, stay hydrated, do some exercise, go outside, read a book (even if only for 5 minutes), we will be in a better physical, mental and emotional state to look after everything and everyone else.
Read my 15 Healthy Lunch Ideas for Mothers post for some meal ideas for yourself on busy days.
Trust me when I say that looking after your own needs is more important than you think!
I find that if I don’t have a plan to eat, exercise or have some downtime, then it doesn’t happen. Make a plan and stick to it regardless of what changes throughout the day.
Burn Out Is Optional
When we consider these three things that lead to burn out: you don’t live by systems, you have too many distractions and you don’t meet your basic needs, all you need to do is sit down, get out a pen and paper, and start making a plan.
Burn out is optional. It’s not something any mother should face in her life, but it is often the case for many mothers.
Take the time you need to get yourself organised, get yourself nourished and taken care of and put distractions aside.
Your family is counting on you to be the best mother you can be! And it starts with taking notes of these signs.
I’d love to know in the comments if you have ever experienced burn out and how you overcame it?
