I recently read 8 Errors Parents Make (and How to Avoid Them) by Michael Brock. It is a great book about biblical parenting throughout the different stages of parenting and the errors we can avoid along the way. Read more for my book review: 8 Errors Parents Make by Michael Brock.
As a bible believing Christian, I wholly believe that our parenting should stem from the bible.
Sometimes that is not easy in the culture we are raising our children in, particularly with the popularity of the gentle parenting style of parenting. But that is a topic for another time.
This book by Michael Brock reminds me a lot of the principles my parents raised my sister and I with. This is no surprise as Brock references a lot of his parenting principles from Growing Kids God’s Way, which was a popular Christian parenting movement in the 1990’s. My parents did the Growing Kids God’s Way course, which is why a lot of these principles are familiar to me.
However, as a parent raising my children in the year of 2025, I must admit that I had slowly strayed from some of these biblical parenting principles and reading this book was a good reminder of why the Bible is timeless, even when it comes to our parenting.
Here, I want to share my review of this book, what I liked about it and some of my critiques about it.
This review is purely to share my thoughts on it and to encourage any Christian parent to read it. Parenting books that are truly biblical are hard to come by these days, so this is a rare find and worth the read.
What I will cover in this book review: 8 Errors Parents Make by Michael Brock
- An overview of the principles covered in 8 Errors Parents Make
- What I liked about the book
- Some of my critiques of the book
An overview of the principles covered in 8 Errors Parents Make
Michael Brock is a Pastor, Father to five children and Grandfather to eight children. Most importantly, Brock loves the Lord and His Word. This is enough for me to trust what he has to say.
Job 12:12 says ‘Does not wisdom belong to the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?’
As a young parent at the ripe age of 30. it is important for me to listen to and heed advice from godly parents who are much older than I am, so I was willing to learn from the principles Brock writes about in this book. It seems that all of his five children still love and serve the Lord to this day, so that has also got to mean something.
Now onto the principles of the book.
Brock starts by setting the stage with biblical foundations for parenting. He quotes Scripture all throughout the book and every principle he addresses is based on the Bible.
The Biblical foundations of parenting Brock suggests are by ‘Raising your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord’, which includes ‘warmth and rigidity, affection and firmness.’ (p. 6). If we are to raise our children in the ways of the Lord, we need to discipline with love. If you discipline without love, you will raise children who grow to reject the Lord, seeing Christianity as a ‘harsh, joyless brand of Christianity, not true Christlike character.’ (p.6). However, if you show all love and no discipline, you will raise spoilt, out of control and disrespectful children. There has to be a good balance of both.
Error one: Shifting blame.
Brock talks about how ‘parenting begins with parents.’ (p. 18). Too many parents shift blame when the problem of their parenting is themself.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Behave like you want your children to behave
- Be the authority
- Stop nitpicking
- Prioritise your marriage
- Show your children that mum and dad like each other
- Present a united front (with your spouse)
Error 2: Low expectations.
Brock talks about how our secular culture of parenting is one that complains about children and not about enjoying our children. With biblical parenting in place, our children will be enjoyable and we can have good days more than bad ones.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Expect good behaviour
- Teach first-time obedience
- Don’t excuse disobedience
- Expect your children to control their emotions
- Expect to train your children
- Expect to enjoy your children
Error 3: A child-centred home.
Brock talks about how this is one of the most common things we can do as parents, even in subtle ways: making children occupy the central position of the home. Parents need to remain the authority figure and children need to know that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Watch what you say
- Watch what you give
- Say no (often when they are little)
- Say yes (often as they grow older)
Error 4: Failing to discipline.
Brock challenges parents that when we neglect to discipline our children, we are teaching them that the Bible’s standards and values are unimportant, they aren’t worth guarding. Since the Lord disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6), then if we love our children, we too should discipline them.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Fit the punishment to the crime
- Be angry at sin
- Be consistent
- Subsidise and penalise
- Distinguish ‘I’m sorry’ from ‘Please forgive me’
- Affirm character not (just) appearances
- Allow your children to appeal
- Build memories
Error 5: Reasoning with your toddler.
Brock talks about how reasoning with your toddler is a waste of breath, as in the infant years, they can’t make logical connections with abstract concepts. Brock talks about disciplining your toddler to become self-controlled by the use of swatting and saying ‘no.’ (Now, if you don’t swat or spank, that’s totally up to you – you’re the parent. But, you can’t help but wonder why it’s a biblical concept?! I’ll touch on this further down.)
Brock encourages parents to:
- Use training swats
- Expect your children to respect your words
- Fight every battle, with every battle
- To not count
- Shut down temper tantrums
- To not cater
Error 6: Neglecting your grade schooler.
Brock explains that when our children go from little ones to grade schoolers, it can be easy to mistake their new maturity with fully grown maturity. He encourages parents not to neglect being vigilant with their discipline at this age.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Spank
- Use time-outs proactively
- Protect your children
- Shut down tattletales
- Cultivate sibling friendship
Error 7: Disrespecting your teenager.
Brock explains that it is disrespectful to treat your teenagers like children. At this stage, you are more like their counsellor, guiding them to make good choices. However, if you control them, it will backfire on you, and they in turn will more often than not, rebel.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Not imitate your teenager
- Respect your teenager’s private world
- Let your teenager make mistakes
- Make sure your teenager has good friends
- Point your children to Christ.
Error 8: Missing Christ.
Brock talks about how many parents will raise their children to be godly, respectful and obedient and follow a different set of principles to what Brock suggests. However, this last error speaks to the most important thing as a Christian parent, and that is, you want to pass on the love of Jesus to your children and show them that He is Lord over everything in your life.
Brock encourages parents to:
- Display Christ
- Teach the whys
- Honour the church
- Help your children know their hearts
- Remember God’s mercy and grace for you.
What I liked about the book
I liked that this book was supported by a lot of Scripture. Without it, Brock’s principles could be like any other secular parenting book out there.
However, the way he hones in on cultivating a home where your children become more Christlike is what makes sense of all of his other principles.
If you are not familiar with being spanked as a child or even the Growing Kids God’s Way movement, you may find this book a little harsh and straightforward.
However, as someone who was parented with many of these principles, I knew that my parents disciplined out of love and as I grew older, I grew to have great respect for the way they parented my sister and I.
I like that Brock balances the principles with both discipline and love.
Take spanking for example. Many parents that I’m aware of don’t spank these days, most likely due to the rise of gentle parenting and our secular culture seeing it as a form of abuse.
However, I was spanked as a child and I never once thought my parents were unfair or abusive. I knew what I did was wrong and deserved a consequence. However, it didn’t end there. My parents would always have a conversation with me afterward. We would talk about the matters of the heart and why I chose to do the wrong thing. Then we would hug. My parents would often say ‘I love you’ after disciplining me, so that I knew that my behaviour was not a reflection of my identity as their daughter, but a reflection of sin.
Brock explained that he and his wife would follow a particular routine after they spanked their children, where they would have a conversation, pray and hug.
This is discipline done in love and not a form of abuse in any way.
Brock ends the book with the error that many parents make: missing Christ. If we parent in a way that misses Christ, then our children will not see Christ through our parenting and may grow to reject the Lord.
I liked that Brock made this the pinnacle principle because when we allow the Holy Spirit to prompt us, give us wisdom and guidance on how we should parent, then everything we do in our parenting is an outflow of that. Surely then, our children will see that we discipline BECAUSE we love them.
Some critiques of the book
While I appreciated how straightforward Brock is in the book, his tone and wording often made me feel that if I didn’t follow his principles, then I wasn’t doing the best I could to reflect Christlike parenting.
While Brock states that these are just suggestions of his, influenced by an array of Christian parenting experts and people he respected, his tone and wording was very direct. If I didn’t agree with a lot of what he said in the book, then I would find myself being offended and inadequate for the task of biblical parenting.
Some of Brock’s suggestions I think need to be considered with prayer and intention.
For example, when it comes to spanking, the exact way Brock suggests to spank may not be best fit for your child.
My eldest daughter is naturally a very compliant child, so whenever we would spank her as a child, she would bawl her eyes out. Early on, I realised that a stern tone of voice and time out worked best for her, so that is what we used to discipline her and it seemed to be enough.
Then my second daughter came along. A stern word and time out was not best fit for her, but spanking was.
While spanking is a biblical principle and I think should definitely be administered when children are little and don’t know right from wrong, the way it is administered should be considered with prayer and intention.
I understand that you may not agree with spanking, but if your children are not showing first time obedience, then I would reconsider.
I am also aware that there are many parents who have been victims of parental abuse, so spanking may not sit right with them.
Spanking or not spanking, I would encourage parents to put much thought and prayer into the way they discipline each child and constantly re-evaluate it to encourage first time obedience.
Final thoughts: while I agree with most of these principles, if not all, I am also aware that many parents will choose to parent the way that they see fit for them and their children, rightly so. But if the way you parent does not align with the bible, then I would highly encourage you to seek counsel from other godly parents or do a course on Christian parenting (Courageous Parenting is a good one!).
The goal is training your children to grow to be like Christ. This book is a great starting point if you want to raise your children in the ways of the Lord.
You can purchase Brock’s book here.
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